Thank you to Jen in Canada for giving me the opening to actually put this heinous experience into words. No offense to my skinny allies, but as the post goes on you may see why I feel the need to express the fact that the person who inadvertently insulted me was skinny.
Recently, I had to express my opinion to this skinny little girl that I work with who crowed about the fact that she was Tivo-ing "The Biggest Loser" why that show is hateful and horrible as she gushed about how Jillian Michaels gives "tough love" to the participants and she "fixes them." I, at 275 pounds, looked this chick in the eye and said "I do not NEED to be fixed."
"Oh..." she said in a little voice.
"Furthermore," I said, "There is no way you can tell how healthy I am or am not just by looking at me. Besides, the most important thing is not 'fixing' people who don't need to be 'fixed' but accepting each other just as we are."
The thing is, I don't think this girl meant any harm, she's just been brainwashed to believe the bullshit that all fat people are on death's door and need to be 'fixed.'
Oh, what a long way we have to go!
I did not include this in my comment to Jen, but it is relevant. Again, no offense to any Slim Allies. It is only to illustrate a point.
What if plus size was considered perfection? That really isn't such an astounding idea--there have been periods of history when women with meat on their bones were considered the ideal. Just look at paintings by the Renaissance masters. But this is not the point. When you read the following, you will find it ridiculous given that skinny--not even average, but skinny--is considered the standard of beauty. But that is not what I want you to concentrate on. Look at the hateful messages couched in the words. My co-worker talked about how Jillian Michaels gave "tough love" to the participants on the biggest loser. I challenged her that Jillian Michaels did not give anything even resembling love and that if I were to encounter her, I believed that we'd come to blows. Jillian Michaels is a hateful bitch and shaming people is never the way.
So, in our society where plus size is considered perfection, we have a show called The Biggest Gainer. Because after all, a person can't simply be skinny by genetics. It must be a weakness of character.
During this show, the participants are shamed, told that if they would just pick up a fork and eat something, they wouldn't be so disgusting and skeletal. Who cares if you aren't hungry? You best forget about that and get to eating. Nobody would ever want a disgusting skeleton like you. Your gaunt physique is so ugly and unattractive. The cues you are getting from your body regarding hunger or lack thereof are all lies. Do not listen to your body. Pick up that fork and eat, you weak-minded, disgusting, scrawny worm! What are we going to have to do--stick a tube down your throat and force some calories into you? Come on--it's all mind over matter! I don't care if you feel like you're going to puke! If you puke, we'll make you eat twice as much! You skinnies make me sick! You're a bunch of weak, disgusting, pukes! You have no self-control! Get eating, you loser! I can't stand the ugly, stick-looking, sight of you!
Yes, this is horrible, and I would never say such a thing to anyone. I don't tell my co-worker that her gaunt, hundred pound, diet Dr. Pepper addicted ass needs to gain 20 pounds. How dare she (or anyone else) insinuate that I need to lose weight in order to even be considered human--that I and my fellow fatties all need to be "fixed"? Whether I lose weight or not at any point is my business and none of anyone else's. As a matter of fact, when I have lost weight in the past, I have kept wearing clothes in the same size as I did before to hide the fact, because I despise weight-loss oriented compliments. I am NOT a better person if I lose weight, just as I am not a worse one for having gained weight. If some guy doesn't like the look of me, he doesn't have to ask me out. Saves me the bother of having to say no to his ass.
By the way, at lunch I had a can of V8, a few slices of turkey, a little cream cheese spread, and some whole-grain crackers, with a little itty bitty one ounce Toblerone chocolate bar for dessert. Ms. Biggest Loser Fangirl had a single-serving frozen pizza and two diet Dr. Peppers. I don't judge people by what they eat, except given her earlier diet-tribe (ha!) I have to say that it looks like the fatty was eating healthier in this case. The point being that SKINNY DOES NOT EQUAL HEALTHY, FAT DOES NOT EQUAL UNHEALTHY! THEY ARE JUST DIFFERENT PHYSIQUES! GET IT????
I don't know why it's so hard to get it.
It would be a damn boring world if everyone looked just like Number 12. Sadly, that seems to be the world that the majority of people want or think they want these days.
Forget algebra and trigonometry. Thinking for one's self is the hardest thing to learn. Humans are extremely susceptible to mass influence.
ReplyDeleteUnlearning all that crap is hard work but so liberating.
My luck was that growing up in a culture that was not fixated on a person's shape. Our parents were the 1st generation to make it out of absolute poverty and having meat on one's bones was sign of health and prosperity.
Yet I still must be on high alert against ever present media influence.
That is the price of liberty.